Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Sad Story!

I have news for anyone reading.
I moved.
Please follow my new blog, I wont be using this anymore!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Good news for all you spooky children!

Calling all The Candy Spooky Theater fans! I know a couple of you follow me, so I thought some of you might be interested. I made a fansite! You can find it here. Feel free to join, start threads, comment on photos, enjoy yourself... it's getting mighty lonely being the only one to know about the site. So, tell your friends, your neighbors, etc.. Thank you~!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Look at me, getting sick over everything.

Green with envy, blue with sadness.
And, I'm panicking.
I kinda refuse to look at facebook because some people from school commented on a picture of me, and I really don't want to know what they said.
I hate this a lot.
I give up.
I hate you, her, everyone.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


私は、言ってをしたい 『彼は鉱山だ』...しかし、私はできません。私の心は壊れ始めている。
Because I wanna eat your heart...♥

Monday, May 16, 2011


I changed things around on my blog!
The title is now "残忍なの道化師", which means something like 'Murderous Clown'.
I think it's cute.

So, I indeed did get more stuff.
I got my doll, my socks and my tights.
You'll just have to wait for pictures of the other stuff, too lazy.
I'm actually really tired.
I should bathe and sleep.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Hey everyone.
It's been a while since my last post. I suppose I've just.... lost track of time or something.
I made an ameba blog, so it's been taking up some of my time... it's a better place to write massive amounts of Japanese without people being like 'wut'.
I seriously had some person yell at me on Myyearbook because I typed a status in Japanese.

I dunno what her problem is.

Um.... I bought a few things online when I got my money from my birthday, which was on the 9th. Yesterday, I got my fangs, Marilyn Manson's book, and gloves from gothfox.

I look tired. But, my gloves and book. I like them both, the book is so interesting, gives me a lot of insight on him, how he lost his virginity, etc... lol.
Every time I tried to take a picture with my fangs, I derped so.. no.
I still have many things I'm waiting for, expect posts!

Today, I was supposed to go to a amusement park with friends... but no one showed up. So, I went and spent the rest of my money on brownies, ice cream, lemonade, kool aid... hurr, yep. 
Me gusta.

I'm over all okay with my appearance today. Which is nice, even though this morning I thought my biggest pants I own were too small and crey'd, then noticed I had put on pants that look like them that haven't fit for a year. Made me feel stupid.

Well, that's all I have to say for now, I'm sure no one will read this, but in case someone does and has an ameba, here's mine~!
Peace out errbody...

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Tomorrow is my birthday~! However, I'm sick. Not fun.

I'm really unhappy. My sister makes me feel like shit. And, she enjoys it. She isn't a good person.


Friday, May 6, 2011


Saturday, April 30, 2011

I really do hate myself. A lot.
I try to make friends, look pretty, so on and so forth, but really...
I consider myself fat, ugly. I'm drifting away from the only people who have ever cared enough to talk to me. But those people only did it cause they pity me.

There's nothing ideal about my personality, my looks, my intelligence or abilities.

This all brings me back to February. I wanted to die. I asked my Mum on a daily bases, why did you even have me? I don't want to die, I just wish I was never born.
We would both cry because that. She's convinced I'm god's gift to people, that I'm worth everything, but I'm nothing.
I'm a pile of shit.

I haven't even been alive for all that long, but I know every day of my existence was a mistake. I wish to be dead.
Or maybe, one day I'll be perfect. I'll get thin, have a shit ton of plastic surgery, I wont have a speech impediment, I'll be able to maintain friendships and relationships, I'll be happy.

Haha. Bull-fucking-shit.

Even then, I'll still be unhappy. I'll be nothing.

It's always something with me... if my Mum loves me so much, why does she treat me so badly? I have a feeling that, if I did drop dead, she would get over it quickly. Just another one of her miscarriages.

I'm stupid, ugly, terrible terrible terrible.

It constantly feels like the ceiling is pressing down on me.

Right now, the only thing keeping me sane is your voice, your existence. There's no way in hell I'll ever talk to you, let alone be able to hug you, be wrapped in your bony embrace... the age difference. I'm stupid for even thinking about you. I want to be with you and be you at the same time. I don't understand. 愛しています。

I want to get over this mood. I don't think I will anytime soon, though.


Friday, April 29, 2011

Saturday, April 23, 2011




”She has lost a great deal of blood”
”Excuse me, doctor, I dislike mirrors.”
”She looks alive.”

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

It's been a while...

So, today I found out I have anemia. 
I've known for a while, really, but just today it was confirmed. 
What pisses me off is my sister. She blames it on me not going outside, and me eating bad, wanting to be sick just so people will feel bad for me. Ugh, she doesn't get it, does she? I'm not her, I don't need people's pity in order to function correctly... I just want to be left alone to die ; A;. 

Can I be a vampire yet? Like one in Malice Mizer's 薔薇の青銅. That would be absolute perfection, never dying and having such a great life that there's so much to live for? Sign me up. But I am aware of the troubles... I just want to be perfect. 

Anyway, I translated The Candy Spooky Theater's 'The Bride of Sleeping Forest', even though the title translates more to Sleeping Beauty. It's a great song, and I'm, for the most part, proud of it.

So, other than that... I'm to start growing my hair out... I get bored with it too easily though... ugh. 

Well, that's all folks! Until next time.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Jack Spooky inspired~

I tried to do my makeup like Jack Spooky... it's not that great. I have a lot to improve on. I like the lips though.

Hurr durr.
Anyway, Yeah. I didn't really do the eyebrows cause... well, I tried and I looked like a drag queen Satan, it was hilarious.
Well, err... that's it! I hope you didn't laugh too hard...

Au revoir, cheri~!

Everyone hates me.

Well, I kinda just noticed I'm never going to have any good friends because I can't let anyone in, and I'm stupid and incapable of reacting well in social situations.
No shit, Sherlock.
Also, I'm too picky with people. And there's no one like me, or even anyone I would hang out with, around here.
Fuck this shit.
All I want is a friend I'm allowed to see.
I've also been really feeling terrible recently. Like I'm in the wrong body. I want to be a tall, skeletally thin man, please and thank you. And I will never be just that. Fuck.
I've also been looking up more on plastic surgery, and the nose job I yearn for could quite easily become a reality. Fuck yeah.
Okay, I'm gonna post my ~visual fail~ pictures now, after this.

Sunday, March 27, 2011


It's been a proper while, yeah? Well, not much is going on anyway. But, tonight I plan on taking more pictures, inspired by both Jack Spooky and Peggy Giggles.... a mix between the two. I'll make sure I post pictures.
Also, I might edit my layout a bit. I dunno what to do though, all I know is right now my blog is ugly.
Yeah, well. I'm off.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Je suis mort.

I haven't been doing much recently...
Just sitting. I really don't know.
At least it's the weekend, right?
I have nothing to say.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Last night was fun. I dressed up like Peggy Giggles and took pictures~

 I like this one best.

I look like a demon here.

This one's really weird, I don't like it much.

Augh... hi.

This one is like the other one, but I like it better.

Er, that's all the pictures for now. Mind as well write a proper blog now.

I have school again tomorrow. Math tests all week... kill me now. Other than that, I have no plans, no life... ahahaha fuck me.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

I'm shaking. I feel sick.

Everything hurts today.
I woke up too early, and I just feel like shit. As always.
Today, I heard that a C-elf had gone missing after SS3 in Shanghai. Nobody knew where she was, but today... they found her.
She was raped, beaten. She lost 25% of her blood.
People make me sick. I hate them.
As for her, I hope she gets better soon... thus far, she's been acting like the same person she was.
I never talked to her personally, I never even followed her blog on Tumblr. I'm a shit elf as well, so I don't see why this has affected me so much.
Maybe it's just because I know so many people who have gotten raped, and I know that nobody deserves it. It isn't a joke, it's fucking sick. And, depending on how fragile a person's mentality is before it happens, it can absolutely break a person.
She's in my thoughts.

Friday, March 4, 2011


Tonight I decided to scare the shit out of myself. I found a blog, a very nice blog, with pages and pages of freaky Japanese stories and videos.
A few of the videos really scared me, even though they were nothing but meaningless static and noises.
There's something about being scared, though. I haven't watched a scary movie, or anything in a while that has actually frightened me, so this was welcomed.
I'm gonna go do other things with my life now.

Yet again, a new blog.

I always make these-
OOH! My Mum just walked in and handed me pizza!
Anyway... I always make these cause I need a place to type out massive amounts of shit, so hey.
Today was good... I got really confused over some shit half way through the day, though.
Uh... I think that's all I have to say.